Narration Script Feedback

[pat@hpnc.com]

Hi all working on the narration for an odd short and thought I would get some more feedback. And by odd I mean it will be very much like the short animated film adaptations you see of somethinglike Edger Allan Poe's poems. For example http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4s9V8aQu4c. Same idea different look.

Any way any feed back good or bad will help spot problems.


Any way here is the narration script what there is of it.
http://www.pwlawrence.com/temp_art/Creation-2%20Script_4.rtf

[Tom Lowe]

I'll take a look when I get some time, pat.

[pat@hpnc.com]

Thanks Tom.

[Steven M. Bailey]

In season or out of season. By hook or by crook. By the foolishness of preaching and to all who have ears, let them hear. profs

As a religious piece its hard to embellish in a particular direction without coming into some sort of disagreement or adding or subtracting from the original text. I am curious to see the final product.

God bless

P.S. I have always wanted to do a crazy piece based on some of the discoveries at the institute of creation research.

[pat@hpnc.com]

blownapartstudios I am also curiso to see the final product haha:) But should be fun and be a good test of some of the ideas I have for effect and animation and working with HD.

And glad to know I am not the only one wanting to do odd and crazy pieces.