The Devil wears Oakley

[Floris Liesker]

I have to say initially I thought this RED camera would be a wonderful thing for all filmers, or anyone who would want to use such a tool. It seemed like a little revolution, both technically and in terms of price.

Boy, was I wrong. But I'm glad I now see what is really happening, and how the masses are being lured by this cult-leader. Now he has his own 1500 worshippers to tell the world how wonderful this camera will be, oh yeah.

By reading the threads at some cinematographic forum my eyes are opened again.
It is all a big hoax. Vaporware. Noone can make such a thing for that price.
And still, if they can, it's too expensive: you'll only get a camerabody for your $17,500.
And still, if you do get more than a body, the camera is just not good enough. It's a piece of junk!
And still, if it is not a piece of junk, it doesn't matter: it's all about the story anyway.

And most of all: developers of cameras shouldnt be talking to future customers on a forum. That is pure advertising, diguised as information.

And suddenly my eyes opened and I saw it all clear.

Redusers? Imbeciles.
Jarred? Second hand car salesman.
Jannard? The Devil.

Don't you all see it? The seduction? The Red? The Camera Obscura? His bald head? Open your eyes!!!



Edit: Someone posted me a line by e-mail asking if I was kidding. Just to be clear: yes, I am kidding. I was inspired by the witch hunt on a certain cinematography forum

[Larry McKee]

Mwahahaha...and we're going to take over the industry. :devil:

[Jeff Kilgroe]

Hey, I think I own that same monopod... er, pitchfork. :devil:

[Poi Boy]

Hey, I think I own that same bald head !
-A

[Don Woods]

I wear Oakley.. Your point being..

[reduser1242]

As do I, i've got a different pair for every day of the month...much love for the O

[Petr Dvorak]

... and the number is completely wrong.... mwahahaha :bleh:

just lost in translation

[Gregory Karydis]

Sniff, I just have 4 pairs of Juliets :( but I'll manage.

Boy that cinematographic thread really got me blood boiling.

[Petr Dvorak]

Yea, beware of typical Lucifer.
i. e. "light-bearer" (from lux, lucis, "light", and ferre, "to bear, bring")

[Ace]

Still waiting for the punchline...

EDIT: kidding http://kyoproject.com/smileycarbon.png

[Ivan G]

I'm so confused :huh:

[Clay Morrison]

Yea, beware of typical Lucifer.
i. e. "light-bearer" (from lux, lucis, "light", and ferre, "to bear, bring")

Indeed, sola lingua bona est lingua mortua!

You've gotta love Latin!

The only good language is a dead language!

[Jeff Kilgroe]

The only good language is a dead language!

Quoque rectus!

[Brook Willard]

Hey, calm down guys. No fun. This is serious business that only extremely experienced, long-time film DPs should be discussing.

Grim up.

[Daniel Reichenbach]

Quoque rectus!

Quodquod agis prudenter agas et respice finem :bleh:

[Floris Liesker]

Someone posted me a line by e-mail asking if I was kidding.
Just to be clear: yes, I was kidding.

I read some of the threads about Red on some cinematography forum, lots of very negative comments about the camera itself, Red's approach to discuss stuff over here with the so called 'imbeciles', and most of all about the evil Jannard himself.

I couldn't really figure out what the motivation behind all this negativity was, I presume fear of change and protection of investments. An elite group protecting their inner circle.

It just reminded me of a witch hunt.

[Ralph Oshiro]

That was the funniest post, yet, Floris! I knew you were kidding--but I admit, only AFTER I observed your RED reservation number under your avatar! You had me going there for a minute! The fact that many of those are actual quotes really threw me off!

[Ralph Oshiro]

Hey, calm down guys. No fun. This is serious business that only extremely experienced, long-time film DPs should be discussing.
Brook's right. Posting is DAMN serious business. Now STOP all this tomfoolery, NOW, DAMNIT! I MEAN IT!

[Ralph Oshiro]

I couldn't really figure out what the motivation behind all this negativity was . . . It just reminded me of a witch hunt.Puzzles the crap outta me too. But I think it not like a witch hunt--it more resembles a heated political discussion or debate on religion. It's weird. Reactionary.

[Gregory Karydis]

Oh sorry, I'm a TD.
I'll tread carefully then :)

[Ralph Oshiro]

Aw, for f--k's sake . . . you RED people are a bunch of technical illiterates, imbeciles, and used car salesmen! None of you could possibly grasp the technical nuances of photographic sensitometry, or even imagine what a D-log E curve represents. Can any of you debug a DeBayer algorithm, or program an FPGA? I thought not! Let alone, not being able to understand the dicey theory behind the Fowler-Nordheim tunneling principle . . . According to my friends at the Fraunhofer-Gesellschaft research institute, this "Mysterium" imager is impossible to manufacture in such low quantities with affordable economies of scale. And another thing . . . I don't think ANY ONE of you would like C-SPAN!!!

[Ralph Oshiro]

Oh, sorry. I forgot. It's all about "story." Nevermind.

[Emmanuel Cambier]

I wonder who got Red#666 thought???:waaa:

[Manfred Lopez]

And I still wonder who got #101, which I think is even unluckier than #666, because that person is the first one NOT to get a personalized call from mister Oakley himself.

[Petr Dvorak]

... or lucky #13

...depends in which country :)

[Manfred Lopez]

... or lucky #13

...depends in which country :)

Hey, I was born on a friday the 13th. It has brought me nothing but good luck... well, most of the time. So I would´t mind having Red #0013.

[Billy Summers]

... or lucky #13:)

:whistling: :sheep: :whistling:

[Steve Gibby]

8 is considered a lucky number in Asia...and also right here at my office...:matrix:

[Ivan G]

1237 was the 4 digit lotto here today!

[Emmanuel Cambier]

I agree 8 is really cool… but so is Gibby, so that all right :love:

Emmamuel

[Alexander Nikishin]

I seriosuly wish I would've gotten #666. And #1 for that matter.

[Jeff Kilgroe]

I would've gladly taken #666. Although, I'd prefer #13... Every sport I've ever played, my jersey # has always been 13 and is so right now for my hockey jerseys. I guess it's my favorite #, always has been.

[David Limpus]

so close and you got red 1110, 14 in binary

[esmilis]

To think, i was just one step from that magical #666. But now, somehow mine looks even better:)

[Steve Gibby]

I agree 8 is really cool… but so is Gibby, so that all right :love:

Emmamuel

Merci...

[Jeff Kilgroe]

so close and you got red 1110, 14 in binary

Yep. :biggrin: I already brought that up in another thread somewhere. :)