Accidental Art, a short film

[Peter John Ross]

ACCIDENTAL ART
5 min

A married woman's affair with the repairman takes an odd twist with her art work.

http://www.openfilm.com/videos/accidental-art



Shot with the RED ONE by cinematographer Greg Sabo

starring Tamara Reynolds, Bryan Michael Block, and Jon Osbeck.

music by Bill Wandel, edited by Brant Jones

[DCC Erickson]

It looks kind of over-saturated, with lots of blow-out highlights. The audio is distorted (recorded too hot) and the dialogue track background noise changes with every cut. The music is cute, but seems a little disconnected from the story. The script is unremarkable and the acting adequate. Like of some of my stuff. We can all do better.

Go back and soft gate the dialogue, eq out the background as much as possible, put in some room tone. Back off the correction on the video. Turn down the music a tad.

Or don't. I'm nothing if not over-opinionated.

[Alexander Ibrahim]

I thought the picture was too hot, frankly it looked overexposed and burned out and it was unpleasant. I am all for bright points, but there should be some detail.

I did not think it was over saturated. I thought the contrast was a bit much... but that is the style these days. Assuming the picture was not over exposed, you could pull the highlights back a bit and probably make the picture more pleasant.

I didn't hear that many audio issues. I don't think it was recorded too hot, but it may have been mixed too hot for some systems. There are some issue with background noise being uneven. I do think the music was mixed in too loudly. It should really be more subtle.

There were some odd cuts, especially once the husband was introduced. Particularly odd was when the "J Train" was prone in one shot then standing in the next shot. If you had coupled the business of him standing with one of his lines that would have helped. Another cut I would change is the cut where she realizes her husband is home. I'd cut during "wait, why are you asking" to J Train then move to J Train's POV on the husband while she asks. Alternatively, if you wanted more humor, you could have cut to the husbands reaction while she described him from J Train's POV.

I feel the story was obvious. I knew what was going to happen from the moment the husband re-entered the room. Sometimes that happens in short pieces. You could probably have shot things more to elicit surprise when he re-entered, and then amped up the pace of discussion after his reappearance. Don't give the audience time to think as husband and wife resolve their issue... then BAM,

Dropping the gun was a mistake. It should just have gun off while he held it during the hug. It makes more sense given the entry wound and shot location later. It could also make the accident more sudden and help with the pacing.

The acting was off too. I think the reactions were badly overplayed. I work on shows where actors are encouraged to "chew on the scenery" in a certain 1960's style... but this was too much. That says a lot in a short piece like this. A re-edit that cuts the reactions a bit more would probably help.

Now that I've torn it apart... it was a nice little piece. Good practice and fun. There were a lot of things that came off well, like the bullet wound.

I need to do more like this myself. I've been doing a lot of isolated tests and junk instead of making whole pieces with a story.

Keep it up and keep getting better!

[Paul Harding]

When members post shot on red, I wish they would include lens info,

[Peter John Ross]

When members post shot on red, I wish they would include lens info,

I wasn't the DP, so I didn't choose each lens for every shot. I directed this, but Greg Sabo of Sabostudios was the camera op, so he can speak to the lenses, etc. A lot of that is listed on his site www.sabostudios.com

We shot to the hard drive instead of CF cards and we did a lot of work in Post with Adobe Premiere CS4.2.1 for the RED plug ins to color correct.

The bullet wound was practical, but the blood effects were a mixture of CGI and practical effects.

thanks for watching!

[stats79]

Wow, Mr. Ming is one to talk. Can't even access his website because my browser reads it as an attack page.

As far as your film:

I thought the script was clever, the cinematography functional (though I have to agree, highlights are blown out) but I didn't find the footage over saturated. I thought the music was appropriate and effective. And I thought the acting was pretty good as well.

Little surprised at Mr. Ming's critique. So much shit is displayed on this site that never gets this kind of detailed negative critique.

Some how this film really pushed Mr. Ming's button.

[Peter John Ross]

Little surprised at Mr. Ming's critique. So much shit is displayed on this site that never gets this kind of detailed negative critique.

Some how this film really pushed Mr. Ming's button.

No worries from me. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. I can handle constructive criticism. He didn't cross a line into insults, just harsh criticism. I wasn't bothered by anything he wrote.

Thanks for watching.

[DCC Erickson]

Wow, Mr. Ming is one to talk. Can't even access his website because my browser reads it as an attack page.

As far as your film:

I thought the script was clever, the cinematography functional (though I have to agree, highlights are blown out) but I didn't find the footage over saturated. I thought the music was appropriate and effective. And I thought the acting was pretty good as well.

Little surprised at Mr. Ming's critique. So much shit is displayed on this site that never gets this kind of detailed negative critique.

Some how this film really pushed Mr. Ming's button.

I'm a fellow filmmaker and screenwriter (McKnight Fellowship awardee, 2010), not his mother. I greatly appreciate the effort such things take, and assumed he was welcoming a critical assessment, not just a bland "Gee, that's great!".
When Google stops their fascist "red-banding" of my website, I will be greatly relieved. Visiting it will not give your computer the syph, but suit yourself.

My current project outtakes, test shots and rough teaser can be seen here, far from my little alleged malware-factory:

http://www.youtube.com/user/tilliesallnightbean

Here's some more about it:
http://allnightbean.com/

Hopefully will be launching mid-July in 2-3 minute increments.
Shot on a Panasonic HMC150 with available light in a coffee shop at night. Yes, much noise. Critique away, I'm a big boy.

[Peter John Ross]

My current project outtakes, test shots and rough teaser can be seen here, far from my little alleged malware-factory:

http://www.youtube.com/user/tilliesallnightbean

The compositing is okay, as in there are a ton of free motion tracking that could solve that, plus it needs to be massaged into the shot better with pixel blending around the face of the wife.

The editing was also sub par in that a few L-cuts would have smoothed over the audio problems between each shot, which are as if they were filmed in two separate locations. Some kind of editing that shows the reaction shots WHILE someone is talking will be far more affective.

I would have no idea this was the ghost of his wife if I hadn't read it in the description. For a sampler piece, it makes no sense in and of itself.

[DCC Erickson]

The compositing is okay, as in there are a ton of free motion tracking that could solve that, plus it needs to be massaged into the shot better with pixel blending around the face of the wife.

The editing was also sub par in that a few L-cuts would have smoothed over the audio problems between each shot, which are as if they were filmed in two separate locations. Some kind of editing that shows the reaction shots WHILE someone is talking will be far more affective.

I would have no idea this was the ghost of his wife if I hadn't read it in the description. For a sampler piece, it makes no sense in and of itself.

Yeah, just throwin stuff out there 'till it's ready to go. I actually started cleaning up the audio today. Never L or J much, once in a while. She lays out the whole ghost thing at the start of the series, so people get the whole story. The ghost clip was a test to see if it made sense to refine it. It's much more blended and somewhat transparent lately - it's kinda freaky to see the actor's two faces scrambled together - in one shot Mrs. Ghost is talking over a picture of herself and for a few seconds has four eyes.

I hate reaction shots. I don't know why. Maybe knowing it was shot after the master spoils the effect for me. Some expert somewhere said you should never show the person talking, only the person reacting. Eh .....