INT. SONY LABS - DAY
The brave bold title card, LAW WAR III : TICKLE MY PICKLE WITH A SUIT VERY FICKLE appears on screen for a brief ripple of a moment before it quickly speeds off to the right of frame. We follow it, blurring past rows and rows of computers and hardware until the speeding title card literally slices a random Sony engineer completely in half. The two pieces of the lonely engineer separate while he cries out to no one, "Just Like My Dreams Ma".
Courtroom scene on a shrimping boat. 12 Jurors walk the plank while the pirate known simply by his self inflicted tattooed forehead that spells out his very name for all to see, R-E-D. This ageless mystic known as RED, bare knuckle boxes a couple of Sony lawyers at the bow of the ship. He throws them to the swimming Killer Whales in the dirty ocean below. One by one like rag dolls made out discarded AIBO parts. The Captain of the boat appears out of left field and comes diving down the side of the wind sail, cutting the fabric to slow his fall like Errol Flynn did in all those monochromatic movies he made. The Captain tosses the large rusted blade to the deck of the ship as if it were moldy bread. He wipes the sweat from his face and dramatically looks up at the lawyers while whispering in his calmest Japanese translation of 'Fuck You' LAW WAR III ensues for 2 hours and the ship eventually sinks and everyone floats away on a rainbow except for Jack Dawson. He gets hired by ARRI.